Why You Should Read: Alvin Schwartz
What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever read? Stephen King? Dean Koontz? Does Poe keep you up at night? Amateurs, one and all. There is one man standing head and shoulders above the rest. An author so twisted and utterly without regard for his readers mental wellbeing he should have warning labels plastered across all his books. I propose that without doubt the most terrifying author of all time is Mr. Alvin Schwartz. Who the hell is Alvin Schwartz you might ask? The man whose dark mind spawned the most horrifying collection of stories ever aimed at children, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.
For anyone who managed to make it through your school’s scholastic book fair without falling prey to this man’s unhinged machinations, rest assured you spared your young minds a lifetime of trauma. Schwartz’s claim to fame involved taking urban legends, short stories and dark folklore and combining them with some of the most truly haunting artwork ever put to page to give birth to the aforementioned series of kids novels. Having read these books in my highly impressionable preteen years, I can confidently say I doubt there is any other author who has pumped more nightmare fuel into the overactive imaginations of children. Some highlights include a housewife embracing cannibalism, an unfortunate bride being locked in a trunk and spiders exploding out of a woman’s face.
To say these books were unsettling is a disservice. They were terrible, disgusting, wretched and completely irresponsible to give to children. They gave me nightmares and haunted my daydreams for years. But maybe that was because I just kept reading them. Something about these books just drew me back again and again, beckoning me with their sirens song. I knew they only led to more misery, yet I couldn’t look away. They touched something inside me, some deep part that liked the fear and the sense of danger. I was hooked.
Apparently, so were lots of kids. The series has collectively sold over seven million copies and appears on numerous children’s bestseller lists. Make no mistake, a quick google search will reveal the many failed attempts by suburbanite parent groups who have campaigned against them over the years. But despite every controversy and criticism, this series of terrifying little books has endured as a cultural phenomenon that is a touchstone for a generation who still remember their traumatic experiences with fondness. It’s almost like a little fear is good for you. Perhaps that’s why the tradition of telling ghost stories around the campfire is still so prevalent. Maybe Schwartz’s devious plot was less to incite fear in the unsuspecting youth and more to capture their attention with something a little outside the typical required reading materials. We may never know unless the man himself returns like one of the horrible characters in his terrible little books.
RIP Mr Schwartz.
